la.ravie: I guess I thought that this would never end

Sarah Vehian looks at the line for roll call

Saturday, May 14, was General Commencement. There was a lot of debate about whether or not my friends and I were going to attend, it's a loooong ceremony and we didn't even think they read out names. I also told my parents to come to my departmental one a week later. However, we decided that General was the only time we could all graduate together. The ceremony has gotten so popular for students to do that it no longer takes place at The Greek, but not on Edwards Stadium (kind of lame).

The ceremony itself was completely underwhelming, no one even told us to move our tassels. The keynote speakers were lacking and the Wicked performance (how surprising for a graduation) was subpar to the one at my high school graduation. I found myself disappointed in how Cal sent us off. But maybe we can attribute it to budget cuts or whatever. In the end it was still nice to sit there with all of the people I started college with, coming full circle (and we all know how much I love to come full circle).

Warning: nostalgia ahead, skip to photos if uninterested

I have tried crying all of May. When I'm alone or in my car, I try crying about the fact that it's over. My whole life, and I know that sounds corny, but seriously...my WHOLE LIFE was about getting into a good school. I thought when I graduated high school I was nostalgic, but there's nothing like this. After college there isn't a continuation necessarily. This could be the end of my 16 year education. This is supposedly the start of my whole life...even if it feels like my whole life is over.

You see, not having a plan is terrifying. I have a lot of friends with jobs lined up in SF, or wherever, and I think I'd be more excited about graduation if I had that too. I have two unpaid internships (which don't get me wrong, I like what I do at both, but how am I supposed to pay the bills?). The hardest thing is that I'm ready to be financially independent, I want to be. But right now, I know that's not in the cards for a while.

So back to me trying to cry... I couldn't. Until writing this post. I looked up the lyrics to that song by Vitamin C, and then I started crying. What a release, what a reality.