Friday, August 19, 2022

Kill the Messenger

Vintage Lara is having a moment. 

I've been doing a deep archaeological excavation on myself, courtesy of my compulsion to document my life in journals, blogs and photos. I really used to put it all out there, or at least a very curated version of "it all." And in that spirit I think is why I am here writing on this old thing. 

Lately nothing makes sense. During a time when I should be settled, I am feeling unmoored. I always wanted to do life "right." (What does that even mean?) But I am struggling with who I am, who I used to be, who I wanted to be and who I would like to be. Is life just a series of realizations that everything you think you know is not true? Do we ever really know ourselves?

Maybe this is me hoping for a signal from the universe, recreating some of the magic I used to feel about the future. So here I am universe, send me a sign, hit me with a lightning bolt. 

P.S. I really miss the old internet, can we bring that back? How very aging millennial of me.