The egg
This is one of my earliest prints that I was proud of. It's also one of the few early prints I had digitized. Our assignment was to photograph something outside of its environment. We were all given an egg, I took mine to Will Rogers park in Beverly Hills.
It's probably because I'm home with nothing to do (except think about being homeless in Park City), but I've been going through old high school stuff I found on my computer and it's got me living in the past. Going through these old conversations (thank you random AIM log manager file) and posts (linking to my livejournal will just disgrace my professionalism, but if you are friends with me on facebook, it's there somewhere) reminded me of how volatile I was in high school, my emotions were always spilling to the surface. I was convinced no one understood me. Some of it's rather funny, of course I wasn't the only one feeling what I was feeling; but there were some things that I was entirely too young to deal with. In hindsight it's interesting to see some of my relationships going through the high school experience. Everything was so much more dramatic back then. I think by senior year we finally figured out that it just wasn't worth it to always be mad at each other for the little things. I couldn't even imagine DG with that kind of door-slamming drama over little nothings.
Everything is so involved in high school. You spend hours and hours with the same friends, classmates, and teachers day in and day out. Then we would come home and spend hours talking and analyzing everything over IM with the same people. I guess it was the beginning of the cyber social scene. But in some ways, the whole IM thing was more personal. It wasn't public sharing, I had some really intimate conversations via IM.
Thankfully I foresee no one going through my computer and getting their hands on these files. So my embarrassment will be kept to myself. It's kind of like going through old shoots, seeing what went wrong, and figuring out how to fix it. So maybe it's this necessary thing I do, embarrass myself in front of myself so that I can see how far I've come. Make sense? I see now how wisdom does come with age so far, but in some ways I am still that awkward girl nervous of passing so-and-so in the hallway, OMG? Did he see me? Like, what does this mean?!? I guess that's something I'm still working on.
Right now it's just a little awkward to be home. I know that most of the people who were such an important part of high school are across the country doing real life things. So I realize I'm a little alone in my nostalgia. But I'm okay with that. A month from now I will be waking up to fresh Utah powder, ghosts forgotten until another time.
